Noodle Panic

pad thai noodle panic

Noodle Panic [nood-l pan-ik]

noun

A sudden overwhelming fear or anxiety that emerges right before one leaves Thailand due to the belief that such delicious dishes might not be had again for a very long time. This results in behavior that includes irrational purchasing of any and all food that passes by or that the sufferer comes across. When such attacks of Noodle Panic arise, it is best for the sufferer to be supervised by a loved one and for their wallet to be looked after. Symptoms include: an inability to keep conversation, darting eyes, perspiration, shortness of breath, a slight dizzy feeling, trembling, and the desire to spend an unlimited amount of money on food.

Origin: The first case was diagnosed on a night train on February 12, 2012 by David Domagalski. While attempting to play cards, his usually sane girlfriend, was overcome with anxiety due to the fact that she was unsure when she would ever eat such delicious Thai food in Thailand again. This resulted in a very distracted card game as countless vendors walked the train car aisle selling noodles, snacks, and beverages. Despite her lack of hunger due to an impulsive Pad Siew purchase earlier that day, she repeatedly asked David if she should buy things, to which he smartly replied no. If the person suffering from a Noodle Panic attack is encouraged, an entire budget can be blown and more food than they can eat will be bought.

2 thoughts on “Noodle Panic

  1. Noodle Panic! AIIIIIEEEEEEEEE

    Not to be simplistic, Danielle, but why not learn how to cook the victuals you so ardently desire?

    That’s how I learned how to cook:

    1. Go to restaurant.
    2. Eat yummy food and use up that week’s money.
    3. Go home.
    4. Try to replicate Yummy food using store bought ingredients.
    5. Throw out first 20 attempts (not necessary if you have a dog or roommate).
    6. Eventually figure it out, and enjoy forever.

    To paraphrase some Smart Guy: “knowledge is a gift with no weight. It can be with you always.”

    Of course, you and Dave would end up having to cook it using a re-purposed beer can and Yak dung inside a train privy, but isn’t that part of the whole package? Noodles on some malaria-infested deathtrap are much more tasty than noodles at PF Chang’s.

    Of course you’d have to lose some of your excellent traveler’s kit to pull this off. Bug spray? Nah, bales of Lemongrass instead. Aspirin? Puh-leeeze; Chinese 5-spice powder. Sleeping bag? Hell no, girl, a well seasoned wok.

    Wake up and Cook, my dear!

    1. Hey Rob!
      As soon as I am in possession of a kitchen again I will cook 🙂 You know how much I love to! Unfortunately Thai food in Thailand just tastes better than anything I could ever reproduce or buy in the States. I think part of it is due to the copious amounts of MSG used, something I refuse to cook with and like to pretend isn’t in the food I consume in Thailand. My taste buds already miss Thailand, but my MSG allergic stomach does not 🙂

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